HAPPY 2013!!

2012-movie

We made it, people.

It’s New Year’s Eve. The world didn’t end!!

Screw you, Mayans!

Not that I was really worried about it, of course.

I mean, humanity did survive the Bubonic plague, the Y2K and the boy band craze. So what’s a little Mayan prophecy, really?

Okay, alright, I admit it. I was actually worried.

Not that I really care about the world or anything, but “Man of Steel” is coming out in 2013.

I would have been pissed if the world had ended before I had a chance to watch the new Superman movie.

Anyways, the Top Flicks List Staff (and by staff I mean me) would like to wish you all an AWESOME 2013. Filled with hope, wealth,  success, love, joy and lots of movies, because that’s what’s really important, amirite?

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Around this time of the year, a lot of people start thinking about their New Year’s Resolutions. I’m no different. I have a list of my own. Here it is:

  1. Lose Weight. Nice try, mom.
  2. Write reviews to go along with my Scoreboards.
  3. Watch at least one hundred 2013 movies
  4. Find a wife. MOM! SERIOUSLY!
  5. To Finish at least one screenplay.

What about you, guys, do y’all have a New Year’s Resolutions List?

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The Rise and Fall of Johnny Lawrence – King of the Kobras

"I'm the king of the world!"

“I’m the king of the world!”

Patton Oswalt is one of the funniest comics out there.

I loved this bit and it made me laugh out loud. Of couse, I’m a HUUUGE fan of “The Karate Kid”, but still– so funny. And it actually makes sense. lol

I hope y’all enjoy.

The Odd Life of Timothy Green

64 The Odd Life of Timothy Green

Plot: A childless couple bury a box in their backyard, containing all of their wishes for an infant. Soon, a child is born, though Timothy Green is not all that he appears. (via IMDB)

Cast: Jennifer Garner, Joel Edgerton, CJ Adams, Odeya Rush, David Morse, Shohreh Aghdashloo, Lois Smith, Dianne Wiest, Ron Livingston

Directed by Peter Hedges

Written by Peter Hedges

Rated  PG for mild thematic elements and brief language

Release Date: August 15th 2012

Runtime: 105 min

High School

45 High School

Plot: A high school valedictorian who gets baked with the local stoner finds himself the subject of a drug test. The situation causes him to concoct an ambitious plan to get his entire graduating class to face the same fate, and fail. (via IMDB)

Cast: Adrien Brody, Sean Marquette, Matt Bush, Colin Hanks, Mykelti Williamson, Michael Chiklis, Adhir Kalyan, Camille Mana

Directed by John Stalberg

Written by John Stalberg, Erik Linthorst, Stephen Susco

Rated  R for pervasive drugs and language, crude and sexual content, some nudity – all involving teens

Release Date: June 1st 2012

Runtime: 99 min

The Man with the Iron Fists

27 The Man with the Iron Fists

Plot: On the hunt for a fabled treasure of gold, a band of warriors, assassins, and a rogue British soldier descend upon a village in feudal China, where a humble blacksmith looks to defend himself and his fellow villagers. (via IMDB)

Cast: RZA, Russell Crowe, Rick Yune, Jamie Chung, Dave Batista, Lucy Liu, Byron Mann, Grace Huang

Directed by RZA

Written by RZA, Eli Roth

Rated  R for bloody violence, strong sexuality, language and brief drug use

Release Date: November 2nd 2012

Runtime: 95 min

Buffy Summers x Bella Swan

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Bella Swan sucks. Before I started writing this thing, I considered being impartial, but it’s impossible. Bella Swan sucks balls. Now Buffy Summers, on the hand, rules. I’ve heard some complaints about how this isn’t a fair comparison, since Buffy is a certified super heroine, whereas Bella is just an ordinary girl. But I don’t think the comparison is really out there.

There’s no denial that both characters are relevant, maybe even equally relevant. Now, Buffy fans, wait a second. Before you gather the mobs with torches and pitchforks, look at Twilight’s numbers: 120 million books sold. Over 3 billion dollars grossed in the box office. Those numbers are impressive. But does that make Bella Swan a better character? Not even a little bit.

Here’s something I learned on my first screenwriting class: Flaws add depth and make your characters more relatable. Bella doesn’t have any flaws. Sure, someone’s gonna say: She’s clumsy! But, in my opinion, something that is cute and charming cannot be considered a flaw. It sure as heck isn’t a character flaw. Bella is really smart and cultured, and although she claims to think otherwise, she’s very attractive (I’ve lost count of how many guys fall for Bella throughout the series).

 Now, yes, Buffy’s also very attractive, and a few dudes fell for her when she first moved to Sunnydale. However, there’s a difference. Buffy IS supposed to be attractive. Joss Whedon created her to subvert the horror movie trope of the young, attractive blonde who always seemed to get killed by the monsters.

 That is not to say that Buffy isn’t without flaws.

She’s stubborn, impulsive and unlike Bella, who at 16 has read all the classics and is a fan of Debussy, Buffy is a C average student (at best). I could go on, but these are just minor flaws.

 While Bella is nothing but an idealized version of Stephenie Meyer herself, Buffy is a real person. There’s a great moment on season 01 which shows that. In the episode “Prophecy Girl”, upon hearing a prophecy that says she will face the Master and that he will kill her, Buffy’s reaction isn’t some sort of altruistic act. She doesn’t decide to face her foe, head on, like most super heroes would. Oh, no. Her reaction? In a heartbreaking scene, Buffy quits, because she’s afraid of dying. What’s more human than fear?

“Giles, I'm sixteen years old. I don't wanna die.”

“Giles, I’m sixteen years old. I don’t wanna die.”

I guess, not all characters need to change. Not all characters need flaws. There is something called Catalyst Characters. But Bella doesn’t fall into that category because she doesn’t really change the world around her. Moreover, she is changed by it. As if Stephanie Meyer is telling young women all around the world that they SHOULD change in order to be good enough for their men.

Bella as a Vampire.

Bella as a Vampire.

Buffy doesn’t change who she is because of her lovers. Instead, they became better people because of her. Angel goes from being a rat eating bum into a champion who saved the world several times. Spike who was a monster, wins his soul back and becomes a man.

“I know I am a monster, but you treat me like a man.”

“I know I am a monster, but you treat me like a man.”

 Edward is Bella’s whole world. When he leaves her, Bella basically goes catatonic for a few months, and she only truly ‘heals’ when he decides to take her back.

Bella in "New Moon"

Bella in “New Moon”

You could argue that Buffy had a similar reaction when she ran away to Los Angeles in “Becoming” (Part 2). The difference is Buffy killed Angel, to save the world. She was willing to sacrifice her own happiness for the greater good.

“Buffy…”

“Buffy…”

I love Buffy because she is a progressive role model who shatters the world’s patriarchal notions of gender roles. And I dislike Bella because she conforms to it and because Twilight sends a dangerous anti-feminist message, and the world doesn’t really need any more of that.

BUFFY x BELLA 2

Alright, those were my 2 cents. Don’t spend it all in one place, peeps.

 Love,

The Fat Man.

PS: Buffy would totally kick Bella’s ass.

Take This Waltz

91 Take this Waltz

Plot: A happily married woman falls for the artist who lives across the street.(via IMDB)

Cast: Michelle Williams, Seth Rogen, Luke Kirby, Sarah Silverman

Directed by Sarah Polley

Written by Sarah Polley

Rated R for language, some strong sexual content and graphic nudity

Release Date: June 29th 2012

Runtime: 116 min

The Impossible

88 The Impossible

Plot: An account of a family caught, with tens of thousands of strangers, in the mayhem of one of the worst natural catastrophes of our time. (via IMDB)

Cast: Ewan McGregor, Naomi Watts, Tom Holland, Samuel Joslin, Oaklee Pendergast

Directed by Juan Antonio Bayona

Written by Sergio G. Sánchez

Rated  PG-13 for intense realistic disaster sequences, including disturbing injury images and brief nudity

Release Date: December 21st 2012

Runtime: 114 min

The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey

59 The Hobbit

Plot: A younger and more reluctant Hobbit, Bilbo Baggins, sets out on a “unexpected journey” to the Lonely Mountain with a spirited group of Dwarves to reclaim a their stolen mountain home from a dragon named Smaug. (via IMDB)

Cast: Ian McKellen, Martin Freeman, Richard Armitage, Aidan Turner, Ian Holm, Elijah Wood, Hugo Weaving, Cate Blanchett, Christopher Lee, Andy Serkis

Directed by Peter Jackson

Written by Fran Walsh, Philippa Boyens, Peter Jackson, Guillermo Del Toro

Rated  PG-13 for extended sequences of intense fantasy action violence, and frightening images

Release Date: December 14th 2012

Runtime: 169 min

 

Snow White: Deadly Summer

00 Snow White Deadly Summer

Plot: A troubled teenage girl finds herself in a web of lies and deceit when her stepmother attempts to murder her by sending her to a discipline camp. (via IMDB)

Cast: Maureen McCormick, Eric Roberts, Tim Abell, R.J. Cantu, Chase Bennett, Shanley Caswell

Directed by David DeCoteau

Written by David DeCoteau

Rated  PG-13 for violence, sexual and drug references, and some teen drinking

Release Date: March 16th 2012

Runtime: 85 min